1.
a vomiting cloud
emerging snowflakes
all over
Vomiting; some matter ejected from the stomach through the mouth to throw up. - ?
Checked some synonyms for throw: bowl, cast, fling, heave, hurl, pitch, sling, toss
a tossed cloud?
the clouds heaving
snowflakes
...
next sketch, # 2:
fresh snowflakes
emerging all over -
a vomiting cloud
Not so nice, this whole idea; vomiting cloud?
# 3:
emerged
new whirling snowflakes
all over wintry fields
Rewrote that as
# 4:
new whirling
snowflakes emerging
all over [wintry] fields
- Because "wintry" not needed, there is already at least one snowflake = a winter kigo.
Then I tasted the word "hurl" and tried it:
# 5:
from hurling clouds
snowflakes emerging
all over
next one is the latest on this battlefield:
# 6:
clouds hurling
emerging snowflakes
all over
I think a good poems must include at least one verb. And others say haiku must include a kigo word. Here it is snow(flake) = winter.
So, this seems to be a haiku?
:-)
3 comments:
clouds
scattering
snowflakes
... 'taint easy, is it! (?)
snow clouds
float above these empty limbs
silent spew
;<) _m
Bill :-)
divorced
snowflakes
remarrying
Magyar:
a cloud
seemingly not guilty -
a passing snowstorm
Well, we got very cold March. Unusuall freezing nights. (-20 Celcius)
Easterly & Northerly winds straight from Arctic Sea & Siberia.
Where are those global warming periods?
A cold March -
our freezer
envying
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